Peeling the Onion

I worked again on knife skills this afternoon--namely, chopping onions. Sometimes I step out of my life and look at the situation and it looks like a scene in a veeeeeeeeeery bad chick film. Semi-newly divorced woman (at what point are you merely "divorced" instead of "newly divorced?") chopping onions with tears streaming down her face. Then she cuts her finger and she's crying over that and finally, she's crying over her ex-husband. I am such a walking cliche.

And now I'm drunk. I'm sort of drunk. I'm in that place where you know you're going to feel like crap in the morning but you're not really buzzing anymore.

It is depressing to drink alone.

I am really lonely tonight. I miss him. I may regret typing that in the future, but I do, I miss him. I miss how I felt when he walked in the door at the end of the day early in our relationship. I don't miss how I felt when he walked in the door at the end of the day towards the end of our relationship. I keep trying to remember how I felt then--completely pissed off and resentful--rather than how I felt in the beginning--excited and affectionate.

He sucks. He absolutely sucks.

This sucks. Being divorced sucks.

I probably shouldn't drunk post, but what can you do. I wanted to commemorating mastering the chopped onion (that just took me four tries to write. I kept typing "ion"). Which I pushed down the garbage disposal some time after the third glass of wine.

1 comment:

Maya Nair said...

Thinking of getting a divorce sucks.
Living in this space with him sucks.
Watching his face knowing that he's quietly plotting sucks.
Hearing his rage filled words, spawn out of hurt sucks.
Hearing him wanting my pound of flesh sucks.
Looking at him and having a hostile hurting stranger look back at me sucks.